


Jughead and Jason Come Out of the Closet

by gayestbird



Category: Archie Comics, Archie Comics (2015)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Implied Archie Andrews/Jughead Jones, M/M, Secret Relationship, Trapped In A Closet, and jughead is very tired, because jason and jughead have an open relationship, free these sweet boys, jason is very fucky, jughead has 3 hands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 20:38:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14245287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayestbird/pseuds/gayestbird
Summary: In which Dilton and Moose are flirting in the wrong classroom, Jughead is far too hungry to be standing up for an hour straight, Archie wishes he could go back to detention, and Jason's dick gets everybody into trouble





	Jughead and Jason Come Out of the Closet

**Author's Note:**

> well this is my first fic, and it's about awkward boners. i'm doing my best here. thanks to monsterbutch for enabling me and basically co-writing, this is all on you. also the auxiliary boyfriends that jason mentions are archie and reggie, because jughead is riverdale's resident gay chad. this was not written with the cw show riverdale in mind, so if ur here for that u may find some characterization pretty different

In Jughead’s defense, it had been a long day, and Jason was both very attractive and very available. Not that he wasn’t most of the time, but it hit him particularly hard just then. When his hair was slightly ruffled, and his eyes watery from the wind outside, and his cheeks flushed from running all the way from the courtyard to the chem lab. It wasn’t something he was very inclined to ignore. Jason has no defense, he’s simply the type of person who would jog up three flights of stairs to jump their secret boyfriend just for the hell of it.

It was all very nice and romantic, until the mood was somewhat spoiled by the sound of footsteps rapidly approaching from outside. Jason had grabbed Jughead by the collar, and dragged him into the storage closet just in time for Dilton to march through the door with a sheepish looking Moose in tow. They’d proceeded to sit down and pull out a full packet of what one can only assume was science homework, and go through it painfully slowly, problem by problem. A little over 20 minutes had passed, when Jughead noticed something poking into his left leg.

“...Are you hard?” 

“Shut up you’ve been pressed against my dick for like a half hour!” Jason had the decency to look somewhat flustered as he furtively whispered back.

“Are you serious? Dilton's right there! Calm your libido for like 5 seconds!”

“Well, shift a little bit to the left and it wont be a problem anymore.”

“Unbelievable.”

Jason opened his mouth to respond, but then shut it slowly as the situation outside began to develop.

“Oh, I think theyre kissing, Jug.”

“Hm, and that’s what finally kills your boner.”

“I really, really dont want to think about Dilton having sex.”

“Why would you bring that up? It’s cursed now, this conversation is cursed.”

Jughead absently began chewing on the ties of his sweatshirt. Jason shifted a little further back, into a collection of old newspapers that smelled unsettlingly like fish.

“Jason, what if someone else comes in, and they have to hide, and choose the same closet.”

“Don’t tempt fate, I’m not about to go on playing sardines in this tiny little room any more that I already am.”

“Yeah but what if? It’s a hypothetical!”

“If that happens then I’m going to walk out of this closet and this school and this town and never set foot in Riverdale again, and we'll be forced to sext with carrier pigeons.”

“Mm, speak for yourself.”

“We can’t all have auxiliary boyfriends.”

“Hey, I’m just lucky like that. More importantly, do you have a boner  _ again?” _

“Sorry, I started thinking about you sending me nudes by carrier pigeon.”

“That does it for you, huh?”

“Weirdly enough, kinda, yeah. It’s like we're in the Victorian times and you’re sending me love letters while I’m off fighting in some noble war.”

“...And then I die of the consumption, and you’re forced to start a-new.”

“Don’t ruin this fantasy for me!”

Jughead sighed, and leaned backwards to hold Jason’s hand. Jason started sort of gently petting his hip.

“You know,” he began softly, “It's not  _ that _ cramped in here… We could probably still have some fun…”

“Don’t push it.”

“I can be quiet, I promise!”

“Experience has shown that you can’t. Plus, Moose is right there! He’s right there! Still macking on Dilton! I will not climax with somebody I’m in calc with just outside the door.”

“And, down it goes again.”

“Is it natural for it to happen this fast?”

“Seriously, I’m kinda worried they’re gonna start going at it while we're stuck in here.”

“No, wait! Shh!”

Outside, Dilton was packing up his things. Moose had a big dumb grin on his face, and his arm tightly wrapped around his partner. Both of them looked fairly content with the world, as they stood up and left at last.

“Thank god,” Jason groaned, rather more loudly than necessary . “It smells like piss in here.”

“If Dilton ever tries to lecture me about discretion again, I’m gonna shit bricks.”

“Hey hang on.” Jason stopped Jughead from moving forward with an arm, and began rapidly jiggling the doorknob.

“What?”

“D-do these doors lock from the inside or outside?”

“Uh…”

\--

Almost another half hour had passed. Jason was crouched in an awkward half-sitting position against the fishy newspapers, and Jughead was pressing his forehead against the door in defeat.

“Jason, I’m gonna starve to death.”

“It’ll just be a few hours... probably…”

“I can’t go that long!”

“You already ate all my pistachios.”

“I miss those pistachios already… Oh! Wait! Archie’s in detention today!”

“And?”

“Text him, he’ll come get us!”

“I don’t wanna look at Archie’s face right now, I'm calling Cheryl.”

Jason pulled his phone out of his pocket, and stared at it in silence.

“I swear it was on 50% when I came in.”

“It’s cool, it’s cool, turns out I  _ do _ have my phone, and it’s functionally immortal.”

“I hate that nokia.”

“You say that every time I use it.”

“I hate it every time you use it.”

“Y’know what, I’m ending this while I have leverage. Apologize to my phone or we sit here until Mr. Svenson comes in to clean, and we have to explain it to him.”

“I’m not gonna apologize to your phone!”

“Babe, if we're stuck in here another hour I might have to eat you.”

“That’s not funny, Jug.”

“Who’s joking?’

“Fine, fine, if it’ll make you happy… Sorry nokia.”

Jughead let a smarmy grin stretch across his face, and began to text about as rapidly as one can with a flip phone from 1995. Less than a minute later, Archie shot back a confirmation.

“Okay, he'll be here soon.”

“In the meantime…”

“Do you have a boner  _ again? _ ”

_ “You were rubbing against my thigh, ok?” _

\--

Archie stood in the middle of the chem lab, looking around confusedly.

“Jughead? Are you in there?”

Jason’s suspiciously squeaking voice drifted over from the far side of the room.

“C-closet!”

“Uh… Should I come back later?

“No, no,” Jughead panted. “Just like, wait outside for a minute? Please?”

“...Why?”

“If I dont take care of this, it's just gonna continue to be a problem!”

_ “Take care of what??” _

Archie was instead answered by a very soft whining noise. His face began growing increasingly brighter as he shuffled back a little bit and put in his earbuds. This was enough for another couple of seconds, until the whining got very loud before abruptly coming to a stop.

“CAN I LEAVE?”

Jughead pulled back away from Jason, who was looking extraordinary pleased with himself. “Ok, Arch, can you open the door?” he said, after clearing his throat once or twice. He was met by silence.

“Arch?”

“Did he leave?” Jason cried, incredulous.

“I didn’t hear footsteps or anything.” Jughead began banging on the door with both fists. 

“ARCHIE! PLEASE, I’M SO HUNGRY!”

Archie’s voice quickly returned. “Man, I’m just making sure you’re done.”

“Actually it's sort of cozy in here…” Jason whispered into Jughead’s ear. “Maybe we could wait just a little longer…”

“Jason if we dont get out right now, I’m resorting to cannibalism.”

“Archie, please let us out!”

The door, at last, was pulled open, and both boys tumbled out onto the floor. Jason’s hair was tragically mussed, even more than it had been, and Jughead had several suspicious bruises on his neck and jawline.

“So!” Jason began. “I promise theres a logical ex-”

Archie cut him off. “I don’t wanna hear it, I don’t care, I don’t wanna think about it, you’re free as a bird, I’m gonna go back to detention and sleep. Thank you.”

“Well, now I’m kinda insulted!”

“It’s nothing you haven’t heard before, buddy,” Jughead chimed in.

“I SAID I DONT WANNA HEAR IT! I’LL SEE YOU TOMORROW!” Archie turned, and jogged out of the room probably more rapidly than he had to.

“So…” Jason started again, linking his fingers back together with his boyfriend’s. “What now?”

“Does your house have any closets that lock from the inside?”

**Author's Note:**

> jughead: but first i'm having so many french fries that my blood will turn into pure canola oil  
> jason: if that hasn’t already happened  
> jug: man, that’d be so delicious


End file.
